Unicornoodles For Sale

This immortal CL ad lampoons everything we love about dog AND horse breeding!

Unicornoodles for sale...

I have one of the rarest mixes around. These are NON sheeding Unicorns, and keep their horns all year round. They have wonderful coats and are hypo-allergenic.

Champion lines and european bloodlines (One of the unicorn's grandpappy's actually won something one time or something like that when yugoslavia was a country)
Designer Breed - so they gotta be healthy right?
I'll be charging $3500 because I want them to go to good homes only.
These are the smartest and brightest around. You won't find anything smarter!!!
These are CKC registered (since the CKC will register anything with four legs)
Raised with kids, cats, imps and fairys.
Grandmother owned by Paris Hilton's cousin's ugly step-sister.

They are GUARANTEED to keep your tweens and teens virginal until their prince arrives. Don't waste your money on the countless badly bred purebreds, and mix breeds... instead waste your money on a unicornoodle and be the envy of the universe.

In less fun news, it sounds as though the Obama family is leaning ever further in the Portuguese Water Dog direction, and I'm not the only one with some consternation. Hmmm.

Sorry for my absence of late, all! I've been working on another project that's eaten up some time. But no worries. I'm still here and cynical. :)

The Pedigree Dogs Debate Continues

Check out this report by the RSPCA!

Because each breed has its own problems there is unlikely to be one cure-all solution. However, the authors have suggested a number of possible ways forward. The four measures considered to be of greatest priority are:

• Systematic collection of data on the diseases all dogs suffer from and causes of death.
• Changes to current registration rules to prevent the registration of puppies born from the mating of close relatives.
• Changes to current registration rules to allow new genetic material to be introduced into breeds. Currently a dog can only be registered with the Kennel Club if both its mother and father are registered members of that breed’s studbook.
• Monitoring of the effectiveness of any changes to breeding strategies.

Essentially, quit linebreeding and open the registries!! Yes!

Will it give the Kennel Club any food for thought? I sure hope so. In the meantime, I hereby call the role of president of the Mark Evans Fanclub. Who's with me??

Jon and Kate Plus 10

This just in, the Gosselins have adopted two puppies.

The Gosselins - just in case you live under a rock - are the family whose lives are televised in the hit show Jon and Kate Plus 8.

Through intrauterine insemination, the couple first had twin girls, and four years later Kate gave birth to sextuplets. That's two 9-year-old girls, and six 5-year-olds.

Two 9-year-old girls, six 5-year-olds, and now two puppies.

Okay. I am not totally anti-Jon-and-Kate. They're a cute family.

BUT WHY DID THEY ADOPT TWO PUPPIES?

Not even any puppies. German shepherd puppies! This is a breed that is
a) very active
b) very SMART
c) up to 100lb full-grown
d) sometimes aggressive in the wrong hands.

Did I mention that they're PUPPIES?

This is not using your head.

When you're in any kind of unusual circumstances, it is ESSENTIAL before adopting a dog to do all that thinking ahead. With a purebred you usually know what you're getting into.

Are Jon and Kate going to have the time to socialize two puppies, what with raising EIGHT KIDS UNDER THE AGE OF TEN? Do they have GSD experience? Do they have time to devote to exercizing both dogs? Are they certain their children and puppies will get along? Will they be able to train both litters to respect each other? Do they know if any of the kids might have dog allergies?

Taking all this into consideration, the obvious answer is that they shouldn't have a dog at all. I wouldn't entrust a guinea pig to most nine-year-olds, and apparently these children couldn't even keep hermit crabs alive. But if they must have a dog, why not a whippet from a rescue? I swear whippets are the sweetest dogs on the whole planet: they're notably good with children, healthy, low-energy, and it couldn't possibly be that hard for such a high-profile family to find a mature, already trained dog. Or how about a greyhound (also low-energy and low-shedding)? Or a beagle (cheerful and friendly and great with kids)? Or a Golden retriever (calm and trainable, nonaggressive, and also great with kids)? Why get two German shepherd puppies??

When you're in the public eye like this, people do tend to follow your example. This is not only disappointing; it's ridiculous. Jon and Kate Gosselin, here's your sign.


*The episode Puppies! is set to air next week.

Not Dead/Kidnapped/Amnesic

Sorry for going MIA! Let's just say that if there's one thing the Angry Pig is getting good at, it's needlessly scaring the pee out of her mummy.

I'm back with only a news story, I'm afraid, and an old one at that, but it really jumped out at me.

(WARNING: Graphic images.) Great Dane starved down to 75lb last year.

The dog was seized by animal control who said the dog could barely stand, it had sores on its hindquarters where it hadn’t moved, and they could count every notch on its spine from the base of its neck to the tip of its tail. There is also a huge swelling on its front leg that they don’t know what it is yet.

[...] The dog’s owner is currently in rehab and the owner’s aunt was supposed to have been feeding her. The dog has been starved for months but right next to her kennel in a covered trash can were bags of dog food meant to feed her.

As for the people that did this, Animal Control Officer Carl Bolton promises action, soon.

Well, "justice" was served five and a half months later in the form of a 90-day home incarceration and two-year probation. (Small graphic thumbnail image.)

“It’s one of the few, if not the first, convictions that’s happened in Knox County for abuse of a dog,” said Knox County Animal Control Officer and Constable Carl Bolton. “I’m tickled with what we got. It’s a start.”

But not everyone was pleased that Whitaker could avoid any jail time.

“I am very disappointed in the Knox County court system,” said Knox-Whitley Animal Shelter Manager Amy Young. “I feel like they let the dog down, and us down, and all the people who cared for her, all the people who came out to support her. I think I can say on behalf of them that we are all disappointed.

“It just bothers me that this guy can get up off his couch and get something to drink whenever he wants,” she said. “If he were in jail, he’d have to ask for it.”

Princess, the Dane, knew two months of TLC before being euthanized due to cancer.

So much for Romeo's Law.

Oh, America. When can we rally all the states, drop the slaps on the wrist, and really throw the book at these people? Preferably a really big, heavy book. And maybe not throw. Maybe smash The Complete Works of Shakespeare into the face of Princess' deadbeat owner. And then starve him down to 75lb.

BAM. The sweet sound of justice.

Sorry, Please Try Again

On the revised UK KC breed standards, RSPCA says not good enough.

The Kennel Club has ordered strict new rules affecting 78 different dog species to stop incestuous breeding which can cause the animals ill-health.

Among the breeds targeted by the move is the British Bulldog, which would lose its trademark jowls and wrinkles in favour of smaller faces, longer legs and leaner bodies.

However, the RSPCA has said that the revised standards are not enough to significantly improve animal welfare.

RSPCA chief veterinary adviser Mark Evans said: "We haven't yet had the opportunity to look at the Kennel Club's reviewed breed standards in detail, but our initial concerns are that the changes don't appear to be radical enough to really make a difference.

"We also question how the standards may be interpreted in the show ring."

Meanwhile, the British Bulldog Breed Council says already the revisions are more than enough, and threatens legal action.

On this side of the pond, MoT pulls up a seat in the cynical corner and says give me a break breeders.

Happy 2009!

What a year! Let's look back at 2008:

• Thousands of breeding cats and dogs were rescued from neglect and misery in puppy mill raids this year.
• PA, the "puppy mill capitol", passed a bill that requires larger cages, exercise, and annual vet check-ups in order to crack down on puppy mills, also making it so that only professionals may put down animals at a commercial kennel.
• Louisiana limited breeders to 75 adult dogs (sigh) and Virginia similarly restricted keeping more than 50 dogs older than a year. It's a start!
• Lawmakers push to strengthen laws against animal fighting, making dogfighting - and even spectating a fight - a felony.
• Britney went crazy and it was so exciting it kind of eclipsed other things for awhile, for some reason.
• Prop 2 passed in California, improving the welfare of farm animals all over the state by making it a requirement that they be able to stand up and move around freely in their cages.
• O Canada! The Frozen North cracked down on animal abusers by toughening its laws, closing up the loopholes, banning animal fighting, and putting penalties in place such as fines up to $60,000, a lifetime ban from animal ownership, and increased jail time.
• Pedigree Dogs Exposed aired in the UK, sparking massive international outcry - and possibly changing the dog world forever.

Oh ... and of course, the hippest new dog blog hit the scene at some point. But you know that.

Happy New Year. Let's keep this animal welfare ball rolling!

Extra, extra!

HSUS points the finger! After an eight-month investigation, the Humane Society brands Petland the nation's leading retail supporter of puppy mills. Nobody is especially surprised. Home reporter MoT urges readers to boycott Petland, or at the very least, don't buy their puppies no matter how cute they are. The puppies, not the Petlands. Petland retaliates with "We do not support substandard breeding facilities and we provide each Petland store with 'Humane Care Guidelines,' that were developed in conjunction with the U.S.D.A. to assist with breeder facility inspections as it pertains to pet selection" to general public, then says "I know you are, but what am I!" to the HSUS, and refuses to invite them to its birthday party. It makes no promise to stop selling puppies or at least spay every dog before it leaves their possession, so MoT is not all that impressed.

Ohio reporter slanders "teacup" breeders. MoT expresses desire to buy him a drink.

Florida finally steps up after suspicious buyer does not receive a health certificate with puppy! MoT gives a cheer! Also finds on breeder's website a) spelling/grammar errors ("love of my life has went to Rainbow Ridge"), b) Christian references, and c) term "fur babies" running rampant, but is not surprised. MoT also expresses hope that they "throw the book at 'er".

Australian man attempts to pay bill with drawing of a spider. MoT laughs and laughs.

Happy Sunday, all.

Watch me make the election relevent

If you were paying attention to the new president elect's speech last night, he mentioned bringing a puppy to the White House. Apparently he's looking for a "hypoallergenic" dog. Mr President, I hope you know your dog breeds, 'cause cockapoos ain't the be-all and end-all...

Anyway, I just wanted to share this here article because, well, I found it kinda cute. It tells the story of Baby, something of a puppy mill spokesdog, and shows off a picture of her in the arms of Obama. You guys might also like to know that he's the first presidential candidate to have been endorsed by the Humane Society. Good stuff. This page is definitely worth a look, too; it quotes some relevent news articles and lists the animal protection laws he voted for in Illinois. Whoever you voted for, we all like protecting animals. Just don't forget about the little people now that you're in office, Mr Obama - four-legged or otherwise!

Milwaukee Raid

We're still a young blog, but on the off chance I have any readers from Wisconsin out there, anybody interested in adopting a puppy? Another puppy mill raid means plenty of dogs to be rehomed!

It takes a lot of commitment and love to bring a puppy mill survivor home for the first time in its life - in fact, it can be a very difficult process for both the dog and you. Remember that these dogs have never had the chance to be dogs in their lives, and they're a long way from fetching you your slippers. But this site and this one can give you some idea of what to expect. If you're at all interested in giving a survivor a forever home - or fostering, or helping in any way - keep an eye on the news (or this blog, as I'll be keeping an eye out, too) for any puppy mill raids near you.

At last a ray of sunshine!

Massive puppy mill raid went down in PA yesterday. Hundreds of dogs out of approximately 508 were rescued. My question is, why the hell was a guy TWICE convicted of animal cruelty allowed to own a kennel at all? At least the state's keeping on him. Maybe this time they can actually figure out how to stop him for good! Third time's the charm, I hear... For more good news from my neck of the woods, Quebec raids second puppy mill in less than a week. Awesome! They're saying the raids should make the public more aware of puppy mills - I sure hope so. If you're too lazy to click links, 157 dogs and a cat were rescued from a mill in Quebec and sheltered. Good for Quebec and PA!

As it seems we're having a puppy mill day today, I'll share two handy links to anti-puppy mill sites:

No Puppy Mills Canada! I like this site because it's packed with good information and links, whether you're Canadian or not. LOVE how they think to warn you about AKC/CKC registered dogs being no guarantee of quality, because this is another ruse you see a lot! Great educational site, unfortunately it doesn't personally get involved with shutting mills down or tell you a lot about what you can do to help the cause (apart from boycotting petstores and BYBs), which leads us to...

Stop Puppy Mills.org. Another strong educational site, run by the Humane Society US. It's got lots of great info, and it tells you what to do if you suspect there's a puppy mill operating near you. You can also send in a Breeder Complaint form (same link) to help them out by tracking and reporting these people. Like No Puppy Mills, it's also got some powerful testimonials from people who bought/rescued puppy mill dogs.

So have a poke around, and I'll return soon with something no doubt slanderous about muttpuppies!