Happy Halloween, MoT-style

Well, it's that time of year again. Those up north know what I'm talking about. That time of year when the trees go from 'fiery glory' to 'deader and more depressing than those frozen halibuts with the staring eyes in the grocery store'. Every light, ominous snowfall is met with a dead-eyed, thousand-yard stare until the sky goes back to raining like it's supposed to. The first hint of a sneeze from the cage in the corner of my bedroom means I'll be turning on my space heater and boiling to death in my own juices every night until spring so my beloved guinea pig doesn't catch a cold and die, and before then I'll be shivering all night long.

But if there's one holiday to brighten this dark and dismal stretch until Christmas, it's Halloween! (Unless you prefer football and stuffing and crazy relatives in cramped quarters - in which case, hang tight till Thanksgiving.) Here at MoT I've decided to get into the spirit of the thing, and I've personally scoured the 'net for the most beastly, monstrous little muttpuppies I can find. Here they are, for your viewing pleasure, hopefully making your Halloween that little bit more special. If not, 54 days until Christmas...

#10. Sheesh, would ya look at the dog on those ears? This little shih-poo is masquering as a piece of roadkill - or as something that's been chewed up and digested by a larger dog already - I'm not quite sure. I can't help it, though; my eyes are always drawn straight back to those ears. What happened there?? They look like wrinkled potato chips. With fuzz. ...Ugh, way to ruin potato chips for me, dog.

#9. Okay. So this little Staffy/Shar pei cross isn't so bad. Well, I guess we won't know till he's grown up, but he's cute now. Still, he gets a mention because the honest-to-God first thought in my head when I saw him was "THRIL-LER!" That's the spirit, little dog!

#8. This Shi-poo or Shorkie or I don't even know anymore just plain freaks me out. His eyes follow me all around the room. And that underbite will give me nightmares for years to come.

#7. MORKZILLA ANGRY! MORKZILLA SMASH! (Yes I did just cross two horror genres.) It looks almost like somebody's photoshopped in two angry eyebrows. I love it.

#6. Little Willie is also a Morkie and he's here to remind us that not all Halloween costumes need be scary. Some just give us a laugh! Poor muttpuppy, he looks more like a mix between a Schnauzer and a Furby to me. Or maybe a satellite dish. I bet he gets great reception.

#5. Frankenmorkie? All she needs is bolts in her neck to complete the look. Aw, man, I'm almost starting to feel bad. Being a Morkie is unfortunate, it seems.

#4. Oh God, this one gives me the willies. He looks like he IS wearing a mask. That's a puppy! Am I the only one seriously freaked out by this dog? Anyone?

#3. Chinese crested/Japanese chin mixes produce some of the fugliest little bastards known to dogkind. But I picked this jaunty little fellow because, as weird-looking as he is, I think he's kinda cute and I like him. Also he looks more like a mix between a koi and a crested duck.

#2. Ah, that old crowd-pleaser, the Chihuahua/chin. Warning: has been known to knock over small children just by turning her brick head. I wonder which celebrity adopted this dog?

#1. Just to prove I'm not completely designer dogs-ist (you know I am), I went out and found a purebred. ...I found a hell of a purebred. Give yourselves a moment to make sure you're on an empty stomach and that nobody unsuspecting is behind you to get sideswiped by the image you're about to see. In all seriousness, it looks like the goddamn Cryptkeeper and its image will burn itself into your retinas and blaze in all its hideous glory in your mind's eye when you're trying to sleep. Not for the faint of heart. You may want to restore down your window so you don't get the full blast all at once. Ready for this? Meet Sam, the Chinese crested.

I hear he was actually quite a cuddly dog. (And yep, he's for real.)

Phew! Go back and look at that duck for awhile if you need to bleach your corneas. Have we all recovered? Great. By the way, this little mixed-breed pooch gets an honourable mention for making me smile.

Have a great Halloween, guys! Enjoy all the leftover candy, because I know I will!

EDIT: Shoot, Blogger sucks at uploading pictures.

Dorgis on the docket

Thanks a lot, Queen of England.

You did this.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Exhibit A: The dorgi. It is what it sounds like. Her Royal Highness' royal corgi got a little frisky and got it on with one of Princess Margaret's less-royal-but-still-recognized-by-the-populace Dachshunds. Apparently what came out of this scandalous dalliance was so delightful that the Queen called for more. Breeders around the globe are now gleefully getting in on this bizarre mix to try and see if they can develop the world's first dog as long as a train. All this observer can say is, they'd better be using Pembroke corgis and not Cardigans. We don't want none of them freaks around here!

I kid. Cardigans are great. They're like the squashed-down, stretched-out version of a Border collie or an Australian shepherd, and that is endlessly amusing to me. Plus, they were here first: the Pembrokes are their snot-faced kid brothers whom their parents and teachers for some reason love more. As for the designer breeders, who knows? The only recipe I can find anywhere for a dorgi is Dachshund + Welsh Corgi. Two distinct breeds, you say? Forget that! They're both called "corgis", aren't they? Well - if I HAD to award any mitigating factors - I'd say that breeding the Doxie with the Cardigan would be sliightly more forgivable, as they may come from the same strain originally ... you know, like a thousand years ago.

Whereas a Dachshund + Pembroke comes out more like a spaniel/terrier + herder/spitz.

Whatever.

You still get a long-ass dog (literally) with more pep than its little legs can handle.

THE PROS: Call me shallow, but long dogs with stubby legs are funny. (I challenge you to watch this corgi climbing up a plastic ladder and not laugh. Go corgi go!) Maybe little dorgi won't find it so funny when the other dogs at obedience school are calling him bratwurst butt and stealing his lunch money, but you'll laugh. Oh, you'll laugh. Trust me.

(Okay, somebody needs to stop me from watching these. I'm hypnotised. They're just so stubby and adorable!)

Both parent breeds are very loyal to their own people, and good with their 'own' kids. Just take another look at that first corgi video if you need proof!

And thankfully, both have a pretty long life expectancy - about 12-15 years. Nobody can say at this point what the dorgi's average life span is, but it should be roughly the same.

THE CONS: Oh, boy, where to start!

Like I said, these are peppy dogs. They're both workers, or were - the corgi herding livestock, the Dachshund digging for game and slipping into burrows. These aren't fields that mesh easily and, as is seen in the parent breeds, I imagine with dorgis you get a stumpy sausage dog determined to chase down other animals. As entertaining as that would be to watch (if you're sick like me)...

They're also barkers. LOUD BARKERS.

They're big dogs in little packages and they've got minds of their own. Dachshunds can be tricky to train, I hear. Workers generally are the stubborn ones. Your little dorgi may turn out to be a bit of a brat.

Lastly, both these breeds are mainly geared towards a specific group of people. Dog-savvy people. Dorgis are probably best suited to these people - but then, there's that nasty little myth that designer dogs are the new family dog...

Oh, and zero predictability in temperament or appearance. (Also, that dog up there looks just like Ashlee Simpson and that terrifies me. They have the same soulless look in their eyes, the same hairstyle, and the dog, too, cannot decide which hair colour it prefers. Chilling.)

HEALTH CONCERNS?
Yes, it gets its own section now. How exciting!

First off, by poking around I've found some dapple dorgis here and there ... okay if you're using a merle corgi to get that effect, but a big no-no for Doxies, as the double dapple (merle with white) genes carry deafness and blindness. The more you know...

Then there's that glaring detail... What was that? Oh yeah - that LONG DAMN BACK! BOTH breeds have got long spinal cords and the problems that accompany that. And they can both be prone to obesity - oh, jeez, imagine that spine supporting a tubby dog gut. That strain can lead to paralysis of the rear legs, or worse. This site puts intervertebral disk disease, one of the biggest health concerns for Dachshunds, in layman's terms. And don't think it doesn't hit corgis just as hard.

Then there's the usual suspects - eye disorders. Von Willebrand's (an hereditary bleeding disorder). Displasia. And, of course, breed small and you always run the risk of luxating patellas (slipped kneecaps).

COULD A PUREBREED SERVE THE SAME FUNCTION?
Well. No. I mean, there aren't that many purebreeds whose back you could have a picnic off of.

Or saddle up and train a whole family of guinea pigs to ride around on.

Or--

I'll stop.

(Sorry, hot-dogs of the world.)

An afterthought...

Two things I forgot to mention in the post below:

EXERCISE! This is another thing Cesar advocates, and he's very right. Take the time to burn off your pet's excess energy and you'll both be happier. A bored and restless dog will be a constant frustration to you. Take little Sparky for walks and you'll find it easier to train and handle him in general.

And secondly, you can practise being the "pack leader" without rolling your dog over. Just try telling him to sit before you give him food, or put on his leash - if he's getting too wound up when playing, tell him to lie down. You get the idea. These small things can affirm that you're the one calling the shots. Not Sparky!

Positive reinforcement vs. positive punishment

EDIT: I posted this, then ended up taking it down and going over it again because something didn't sit right with me. It's back up now, and I want to reiterate that these are just my opinions. Some people really can train dogs using their voice alone, and that's great! Feel free to share some tips. I just wanted to offer my thoughts - that's all.

So I've been looking into Cesar Millan (famed Dog Whisperer)'s methods lately, and I wanted to share some more thoughts on dog training. Positive reinforcement, like clicker training, is the method I favour, which I covered in my earlier dog training post. Positive punishment is what Cesar Millan uses: responding to undesirable behaviour with something aversive, like a "nip" on the neck.

(Yep, punishment can be positive. I know it can get confusing! When you're talking about operant conditioning, instead of the normal connotations of 'good' and 'bad', positive means causing something to happen (after the behaviour), whereas negative is causing something to stop happening. It's like in math, where positive adds something and negative takes away. In dog training, an example of positive reinforcement would be clicker training - rewarding the dog immediately after desirable behaviour with a click and, summarily, a treat. Positive punishment would be a Cesar-type response or a shock collar, causing a mild electrical shock following barking or leaving the property.
Negative reinforcement, taking away a stimulus after the desired behaviour is performed, would be like shaking a can of pennies until your dog stops barking. Negative punishment would be like taking away your dog's toy as soon as he gets overexcited and bites you, and walking away from him. I'm looking at the "positives", so if you get confused, look at it this way: are you going to wait for your dog to do something good (and reward him), or wait for him to do something bad (and punish)? Much more simple!)

Now, to start off I have to say: I might be very pro-clicker training/positive reinforcement, but I think BOTH methods of training very much have their place in the dog world. Often times they'll coincide. With reinforcement you want your dog to keep doing whatever it is he's doing; with punishment you want him to stop. If your dog is an excessive barker, you can either teach him that not barking is a good thing and deserves rewards, or that barking is a bad thing to be punished. He can learn either. If your dog strains at the leash, you can teach her that walking beside you is preferred, or that pulling is undesirable. Before you decide to take either route of training, try and see how many of your objectives could be achieved either way like this. YOU know your dog's temperament, and you should know which method of training will work better for them.

With a puppy, you want to start with reinforcement right away. Your new baby doesn't know what you want at all, and you want to teach him in a way that won't foster uncertainty. He can't be punished for not sitting when he doesn't know what 'sit' means! And like I said in my other post, remember not to punish just because your dog does it the 'wrong' way - like taking too long to come when called. Keep on rewarding, and he'll keep on trying to please you. He'll get better as he learns, and puppies need patient teachers, especially if they're sensitive (researching your dog's breed will nearly always tell you whether that breed tends to respond poorly to harsh methods).

Other puppies need a firmer hand, and it's okay if you need to correct. If baby is showing undesirable actions, you want him to stop NOW, before he grows up and what was cute (like jumping up on people) becomes annoying or even frightening for some people. Worse, maybe he's biting or out of control. In these cases, pay attention to what Cesar teaches: Tone of voice and attitude, even your stance can tell the dog a lot. Plenty of dogs learn fast what "NO" means, because of the way you say it. If puppy bites you, even lightly, yelp or say "OW!" or something, and stop playing. Puppy wants to play with you, and she'll learn that she has to bite much more gently, and eventually not at all, if she wants to keep her playmate.

I won't tell you never to lay a hand on your dog. Why? Because I've raised a Border collie puppy ... I've been there! Even if he is a lovable teddy bear now, Tip was exactly the same as any other Border collie pup in the beginning - that is, he acted like he was perpetually riddled with cocain and running on a six-pack of Red Bulls, and that everyone he met was a "sheep" (not that he tried to herd me, but he played the dominant role). Convincing a Border collie that you're not a sheep is a lot of hard work, and these dogs stay puppies for a long time!

I KNOW we're not all saints, and I KNOW learning all the "be the pack leader" stuff just doesn't come naturally to some people, and that not everyone has time to learn the most positive training methods possible. I will NEVER, EVER tell you to hurt your dog: you're not just the "pack leader" to him, you're his best friend in the whole world. Keep it that way. But, in my opinion, getting "hands-on" can be okay if you do it carefully, and not in anger. Try to look at it like this: you're not aiming to hurt him physically (or emotionally; Tip's probably not the only crybaby out there), but just to get his attention or convey that you're unhappy. A light smack on the rump with an open palm was as far as I ever went personally; some trainers will tell you it's okay to grab your dog by the scruff and give it a shake, but that doesn't sit right with me. It's a matter of personal preference. Either way, I'm sure you realize that dogs get hands-on with each other! It's not the end of the world if you want to use physical contact to redirect your dog. Still; this should be a last resort. You should have already tried using tone of voice, or walking away, or whatever was needed, before touching your dog. And your puppy is probably a little saner than a Border collie - I hope you don't need to touch him. :) (I once dog-sat my neighbours' cockapoo puppy - they went to Florida for two weeks just after acquiring him; yeah, real bright idea - and didn't need to lay a hand on him. Just so you don't think I'm some kind of dog-molesting psycho with the uncontrollable urges to stomp on puppies and live in trailer parks and wear wife-beaters.)

Note: I never felt the need to use physical contact with Tip after he'd grown up a bit. I find the older a dog gets, the more receptive he is to you and the less I would recommend touching him. Tip was hell in puppy form, but now all it takes is a stern word or glare for him to look abashed.

But now your dog is grown up, and still showing some problems. You decide which method will work on him - he's your dog, you know him best, and you know how he should respond. Some dogs don't really need a "pack leader", I feel. When Tip pulls at the leash, it's because he's just excited to be outside and wants to sniff that tree, not because he thinks he's the top dog. Somebody recently told me I should give him a light KICK when he does that - we made a bet that I could stop him from pulling in two weeks using the clicker. Three days in and Tip now simply glances at those trees as if they're hardly there! Clickers can solve a lot of your doggy problems, and I'd recommend using one for just about any issue.

But personally, I think Cesar Millan knows what he's doing. Before you judge his methods, you should try getting into it with an aggressive pittie, and see how far tone of voice gets you! I love that he trains the owners simultaneously, because attitude, and the energy you put out, have a lot to do with how your dog's behaving. And no matter how aggressive the dog, he never harms them: "punishment" can indeed be as simple as a "tsst" (or a more calming "shhh"), or touching the neck.

What I don't like is that people think these are sound methods for training any dog. I can almost guarantee that your Lab doesn't need a "tsst"! Cesar works specifically with aggressive dogs and I think a lot of people lose sight of that. (The person who told me to kick my dog - my dog who is just like that kid you knew in kindergarten that ate paste and crayons, God bless - had just seen one episode of the Dog Whisperer.)

Try positive reinforcement first. If that really doesn't work, well, time to pull your head out of your ass and take some tips from Cesar: be calm, be assertive, lay the foundation using positive punishment until reinforcement can take its place. (But if the dog is super-aggressive, leave it to the professionals.)

(Another note I almost forgot to cover: Positive punishment will work for dominance aggression, but not so much for fear aggression. This I learned from C, my dog guru. I also got this handy chart from her. Fear aggression is something quite different from dominance and possibly one of the most difficult behaviours to break a dog of. I won't go into it now because I have no personal experience; but if you think your dog is fear-aggressive, forget using corrections. Be quiet and unthreatening, don't validify his fearful behaviour by coddling him, and give him treats and love when he is not acting fearful. Obedience training will be your best ally, as it will help strengthen the bond between you and your dog.)

I lost my train of thought two or six times writing this, so I'll sum up my thoughts real quick:

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT
- For teaching your dog new things
- ...OR to train him out of certain behaviours
- Makes training fun for uncertain or sensitive dogs
- Is the clearest way to convey to your dog what you want him to do
- Tends to have good results!

POSITIVE PUNISHMENT
- For correcting bad behaviour ASAP (like biting)
- ...Or laying the foundation to a more mentally sound dog, in order to move on to positive reinforcement
- Best used sparingly and as a last resort
- Will not make you a monster if you do it right, and safely. :)

Lastly, remember that a good trainer keeps an open mind. (Me, I'd never use a can of coins - it hurts my ears, for one thing! But I wouldn't condemn the people that do, either.) Every dog is different and some need different training strategies than others. Breed can be a good indication of how your dog should be trained, so be careful with your muttpuppies. And keep in mind that this is all just my opinion, and you have no particular reason to listen to me. ;) Feel free to disagree. Happy training!

Those awful vicious breeds!

I love this!!

They forgot a breed, though: Small humans. Raising a little human responsibly requires more homework than any dog breed you can come up with ... funny how so few people seem to do their research! For instance, people under the age of 10 make up the majority of dog bite victims... That's a good nugget of information to have! Maybe you should keep your little one on a leash - or at least teach it to ask before petting, hmm?

On the other hand, if I hear of one more person throwing a hissy fit at an owner because their kid just got a free face-wash from a happy Doberman, I suggest you demand how that parent dare endanger their own child's life by allowing it in a car! Because really ... your odds of being bit by a dog are approximately 1 in 50. Your kid is more likely to be involved in a serious car accident (hello, leading cause of death in children). Exercise caution around any dog, but I promise you ... sometimes, that tail-waggin' Dobey or Rottweiler really does just want to make friends!

Milwaukee Raid

We're still a young blog, but on the off chance I have any readers from Wisconsin out there, anybody interested in adopting a puppy? Another puppy mill raid means plenty of dogs to be rehomed!

It takes a lot of commitment and love to bring a puppy mill survivor home for the first time in its life - in fact, it can be a very difficult process for both the dog and you. Remember that these dogs have never had the chance to be dogs in their lives, and they're a long way from fetching you your slippers. But this site and this one can give you some idea of what to expect. If you're at all interested in giving a survivor a forever home - or fostering, or helping in any way - keep an eye on the news (or this blog, as I'll be keeping an eye out, too) for any puppy mill raids near you.

Disclaimer, part two

What do you have against designer dogs??

To be honest? I have NOTHING against the dogs themselves. I think mutts make for some of the sweetest dogs around, and I believe adopting a shelter mutt is one of the best things you can do.

No; if you're keeping up with this blog, you should know it's the people behind the dogs that grate on my nerves. Let's face it: there are way too many dogs out there. Purebreeds will always be relatively okay, because there will always be breed enthusiasts who know their way around their respective dogs. There will always be breed rescues ready to take on an unwanted Lab or shepherd. It's the mutts who are often left high and dry, and that's heart-breaking.

Muttpuppies are the fault of (and should be the responsibility of) people who are too lazy to give their dogs the snip or at least build a proper fence. Those are the people I have a problem with.

Then there are the designer dogs. Remember, 'designer' doesn't mean Dolce & Gabbana- it means these mutts were bred by design. Designer dogs are cockapoos, Goldendoodles, puggles, Maltipoos... All the poos and doodles and then some.

I've had a couple people say I've made them feel guilty for wanting one of these dogs... Ooops! Honest, that was never my intention. (Unless you want a Border Jack, because ... holy crap. Really??) Actually, I really kinda like Goldendoodles and Labradoodles! They make awesome family dogs. :) I applaud the efforts of those breeders trying to develop the "Australian Labradoodle", because breeding with a standard in mind is the best thing you can do for designer dogs: if you want to breed Labradoodles, breed for THIS objective. Most designer dog breeders can't agree on anything except that the dog simply has to be a mix between this breed and that breed.

What I can't stand is the people who put a poodle and a Lab together and automatically assume the best traits of both will show up in the puppies. These are the people who notice a growing trend and decide to get in on it. OFA and CERF? Never heard of it! Health problems? No problem, hybrid vigour's on our side! So the poodle's a little snappy? The Lab genes will take care of that! These people also tend to refuse to breed multigenerational dogs, because they want all the benefits that come with a true blue mutt.

I know you're sick of me harping on about unpredictability in mutts, but it's one of my biggest pet peeves. In the hands of fad breeders, you don't know what your dog's temperament will be like, you don't know what it'll look like when it's grown, you don't know what health problems it may present, if you're getting a Golden- or Labradoodle you won't even know if it's low-shedding and "hypoallergenic" or not! And hybrid vigour, well - it may work out to some degree for some mixes, but the thing to keep in mind is that muttpuppies aren't real "hybrids" at all. Domestic dogs are all the same species - Canis lupus familiaris - and a hybrid, if you want to get technical, is a mix of two different species. Some geneticists like the late George Padgett, DVM even say that mixed breeds can inherit the genes for more than DOUBLE the health problems in some purebreeds.

And these people expect you to pay money for these "one of a kind" genetic anomalies.

Just for kicks, I went hunting on a pet-finder site for a schnauzer mix, because I've always wanted a dog with a beard. And ta-da. He's young, he's a schnoodle, he's in need of a yard to run around in, and he's an hour or two away from me. It's that easy! Now I could have my very own doggy beard to brush all day ... assuming he's got one. And poking around, it's sad to see just how many of these dogs are mixed breeds.

So you see, it's not all about the muttpuppies here at Muttpuppies on Trial. I aim to rag on the people who come up with those bizarre mixes, bad breeders (in general), puppy mills, and anything doggy that catches my interest. And if you want to adopt yourself a designer dog, that's okay by me. Just do your research, and find yourself a responsible breeder first!