Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Oblivuary

Apparently February is a month of general obliviousness. Oblivuary is a sister occasion to Opposite Day, where down is up and boy bands play instruments. Unfortunately, while this month also features down as up, the difference is that nobody notices.

And you know what brought this on: dear old Westminster.

Take, for example, the Dogue de Bordeaux, finally recognized as a breed by the AKC in July '08 ... and decried by the UK KC several months later. If you've been following the doggy dailies, you know of the BBC's ultimatum to Crufts, Westminster's British counterpart: Remove 14 disease-riddled breeds from the show, or be booted off the network. Crufts was dropped like a hot potato. And can you guess who featured among those 14 at-risk breeds?

Duh, says Brickface McDewlap.

Not only does the AKC not even acknowledge the studies by the Kennel Club across the pond - they can't wait to show off their new breed.

Sigh.

Don't even get me started on PETA.

Actually, do, because this still makes me laugh. PETA takes a stand against purebreeds by dressing up as the KKK outside Westminster. For real!

"Their goal, according to a post on the PETA website, was to draw a parallel between the KKK and the American Kennel Club. "Obviously it's an uncomfortable comparison," PETA spokesman Michael McGraw told the Associated Press.
But the AKC is trying to create a "master race" when it comes to pure-bred dogs, he added. "It's a very apt comparison.""

Okay, that is definitely not the message I got. Just me, or ...?

Moving past this bizarro-world logic, PETA once again shuts its eyes to the real issues: Genetic health disorders and inbreeding. Nope, the AKC is trying to cleanse its - er, race of dogs. Because all purebreed breeders want, of course, is to see the mutts of the world gassed or machete'd or lynched or enslaved to serve the conformationally perfect dogs! (Wouldn't that last one be just a little bit cool to see, though?)

And so once again we tiredly realize that PETA cares far more about publicity than it does about animals.

I hereby counteract fueling this loonie-bin fire by proclaiming Adopt a purebred if you want to! and Buying from a breeder does not make you a bad person/a shelter-dog killer! Also, EAT A SEA KITTEN! They're delicious and they have no soul!

As for the AKC... Well, there's not much to be done there until they open their eyes, take their hands away from their ears and stop humming loudly. Ho hum.

6 comments:

an American in Copenhagen said...

I was laughing so hard my husband made me explain what was so funny. Then, it didn't seem so funny any more.

You do a great job of 'funnying up' important info so that I actually look forward to reading it. Now I'm smarter and happier. Thanks!

GoLightly said...

You are in rare form today, MoT
Well worth the wait!

I'm watching, and will be laughing at more than usual, thanks to you, Westminster's creme de la creme de la "AKC is trying to create a "master race" when it comes to pure-bred dogs, he added. "It's a very apt comparison.""

Aaaaaaaaggghhhhhh.

Thanks, eh?

snorch..

Rare Form...

Did anyone see the Scottie?
I love Scotties, poor little bow-legged unsound critters they seem to be. Yup, that's a GOOD Scottie. Soo Cute though.
I LOVE them.
(guess why, aye, I started that breed a' Scot, to take over the worlllld..)
I'm a Scot, weird, HUH?? but I won't own one.

Master Race, Sea Kittens.
We need to form a new country of the sane.

MasteroftheMaster.
HA!

muttpuppiesontrial said...

Thanks guys! :) Though I must say PETA is so ridiculous that they virtually lampoon themselves. Sea kittens, I ask you!

GoLightly said...

DAMMIT
And then, I forgot to WATCH it.

dammitdammit
Okay, who won?
BestInSillyDogShow??
Please, please tell me?

I guess my husband's incredibly inedible dinner just wrecked my memory.
Yeah, that's it:)

water_bearer said...

Glad to have you back! You were missed.

Oh hapless PETA, so wrecktastic.

Personally, I was rooting for the Deerhound. Anatolian was robbed again. As per.

More than the Dogue de Bordeaux bothering me was the Brussels Griffon winning its Group. Every time there was a close up shot of the dog's face which simultaneously appeared on the jumbo tron to the audience, everyone ooh'ed and aah'ed. I wanted to puke. WTF is cute about a cyclops nose?? Seriously. The dog's nose is in the middle of its forehead. This is cute? This is functional? Having your nostrils above your eyes? The poor Japanese Chin (which also was oohed and aahhed) had the same problem while also suffering from a severe case of wall eye. I thought if it sneezed or maybe farted its eyes would go shooting out of its head. One going east and one going west, of course.

Hey, at least the GSD was only slightly deformed. What an improvement from Jimmy Moses being awarded at last weekend's Eukanuba Championships, the Herding Group's Breeder of the Year. Go to his website. I didn't know it was possible for a dog to run on its hocks with its back paws never actually touching the ground. Seriously. Running on its elbows. And this is the breeder of the year? Awesome. Looks like we can only expect more crippling frankendogs in the future.

Oy vey.

I do love me some pure breed dogs, good examples that is. But I would'hve taken every one of those raggedy ass mutts in the Pedigree commercials before most of the dogs in the ring tonight. Especially the Toys. Except for the Pomeranian. It had the nerve to scratch the ground like it was marking its territory after it was taken from the table and put on the ground. Gotta love that.

muttpuppiesontrial said...

GL: The Sussex Spaniel won Best In Show. Go figure.

WB: Tell me about it! That Griffon was one bizarre-looking beast. Some of the dogs were absolutely gorgeous, but at other times all I could think was things like, When did Weimaraners' legs get so very skinny? and Why does that Afghan hound look like a giraffe? And I'm all for a Border collie with a nice, feathery long coat, but half the dogs in the ring were so hairy they hardly looked like Borders at all. (At least they acted like them. They were all wriggling and bouncing around like ADHD schoolchildren, bless them!)

Very strange stuff. I'm still bemused at both the French and English bulldogs placing in the Non-Sporting group. The French is seriously sad-looking.