Holiday safety tips

There are more pressing things I could blog about at this time of year - like I could tell you how you can buy a goat for a third-world family in somebody else's name as a thoughtful gift, or give something a little different and browse through the HSUS's catalogue, or I could raise awareness for the issue of a single strand of off-white LED lights looking way more depressing than no lights at all, people. But this is a dog blog after all, and I saw some of these on the news the other night and actually heard some things I hadn't known before, so! Here is a list of tips designed to help get your pooch comfortably through the holidays.

• Digestive troubles are the biggest complaint of dogs during the holidays, and DVM Tammy Smith says that most of this stems from eating rich holiday foods. I'm sure you guys know not to feed your pets too many tidbits - but on the other hand, guests are more likely than owners to sneak food to the dog. Make sure you warn yours not to feed your pet, and if the puppydog eyes become overwhelming, treat the pup to something nice and healthy (or at least, not unhealthy). Remember that chocolate and bones are two of the biggest food hazards. Other risky foods include alcohol and, I've heard, onions and grapes/raisins.

• Another big danger is that your dog can be lost in all the bustle of the holidays. Try not to lose him in the confusion. Out of sight, out of mind. Your dog can have laid into the garbage and swallowed a bone before you even realize he's been absent for some time. Remain aware of his whereabouts and of potential problems.

• Keeping your dog on his normal routine is the best way to avoid stress. You also want to make sure he's got a quiet place to retreat to where nobody will bother him, in case the atmosphere starts to stress him out. Frightened dogs can bite, sometimes not intentionally. Feed him his normal dinner at the normal time, and take him for his usual walks. Exercise will wind him down.

• Christmas trees carry a lot of hazards! I'm lucky that I can just shut my dog out of the room where the tree is, but I'm sure he'd cause trouble if left to his own devices in there. Round ornaments can look just like a ball to a dog, and they might try to grab them off the tree. Glass ornaments can be knocked off the tree by an overactive tail, and if they shatter a dog can cut its paws on the shards. Food ornaments can be mildly toxic, and the type you find on strings - like popcorn, or berries - can cause a lot of problems if ingested. Same with tinsel: tinsel can be a nightmare, causing obstruction and intestinal strangulation. And artificial snow can also be toxic, and cause respiratory irritation. Electric cords should be taped down, out of reach, or covered, and unplugged when not in use. Tree sap can cause stomach irritation, so try not to let your dog drink out of the tree holder - you may want to put down a water dish nearby to discourage him. And needles can't be digested, so they pose another threat; they can puncture your dog's intestines. TIP: Try to "dog-proof" the room as best you can, and it's a good idea to hang ornaments out of the dog's reach, on ribbons rather than hooks, just in case. If your dog can't quite be trusted, you might want to put up a baby gate, or some small decorative fencing around the tree.

• Toxic plants include: Christmas cactus, poinsettias, amaryllis, hemlock, holly, ivy, and mistletoe. Silk or fake plants would be a worthy investment. If not, keep everything out of doggy's reach, and clean up any dead leaves or berries fast. TIP: Bitter Apple spray is great for anything you don't want your dog ingesting, like the plants and ornaments. It's cheap and effective, and available at most pet stores.

(EDIT: It turns out poinsettias are not toxic! This is a widely-held belief, but it seems the worst that can happen is gastrointestinal distress from having ingested something alien. I wouldn't advise you let you dog scarf on poinsettias anyway because the plant will look pretty silly with half its leaves gnawed off.)

• Anti-freeze: I'm not sure why you'd leave this lying around, but many dogs (and cats) like its sweet taste. Even a small spill, if lapped up, can be lethal. This must be treated immediately.

• Salt and other chemicals designed to melt ice on sidewalks and roads can cause burning to your dog's pads. Try to avoid these, and wash his paws when you get home. Dog boots aren't just to make your pup look snappy, either; they'll protect his little feet. You can also get products like "Muttluks Pawstik", a moisturing balm you apply before leaving for a walk, to help protect against snow and salt.

• It goes without saying that you should supervise a dog around any new toys for the kids! It's amazing what dogs will swallow...

Just one week to go, can you believe it? I hope all your shopping's done by now (mine isn't, oh dear). And I hope you and your families and pets have a lovely holiday - and that your dogs get everything they ask for. :)

The importance of responsible breeding

I hope all your weekends were great. My pets left mine on an ambivalent note. On the one hand, I've started training my dog up a bit more, and he goes into transports of joy whenever he sees the clicker because it means treats! for doing! practically nothing! On the other hand, my Angry Pig was treated to a bath, and her utter outrage was made worse by the fact that I turned her into a piggy burrito with an old handtowel afterward. Partly for my own protection. So my dog is pretty sure that I'm the coolest person in the world, but my guinea pig keeps leaving threatening letters in my pillowcase.

(Senile Gerbil snoozed through the weekend, waking now and then only to mutter cantankerously about young people and their crazy hairdos these days. Old people are adorable. Even when they're not actually people.)

I got a comment on this post and planned on replying before realizing it had spawned an entire entry's worth of thoughts. So here it is (and I'm not trying to single you out, Linny! Sorry!).

Linny said...
""Designer dog" sales are now outstripping those of purebreds. I think this is largely because all the scientific research show mutts live longer and healthier lives than purebreds.

Most people just want a happy, healthy family pet. Say "Boxer" a vet thinks heart disease; say "Golden Retriever" and they think hip dysplasia. The incidence and severity of inherited diseases increases every year, and yet breeders continue as they've always done, with outdated practices that continuously limit genetic diversity, using breed standards that often encourage disability and deformity.

If there's anybody out there that still really believes all is well in the purebred world, they should watch the BBC documentary "Pedigree Dogs Exposed" at http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=44215931"

Too right, Linny! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying purebred dogs are perfect. Far from it! So I hope nobody here gets that impression. How often do we see cases like the Pekingese, the pug, the Dachshund, the Shar-Pei, where breeders continue to breed in myriads of health problems for the sake of decades-old breed standards? You will hear time and time again that pugs snore, but nobody stands up to actively eradicate the inferred problems, because of course, a pug that doesn't snore evidently just isn't a pug. Nobody wants to give those flat faces more definition, because a pug with a longer muzzle won't be winning Best in Show.

Breeding pedrigree dogs just ain't as easy as it looks. I'm one of those people who stands by the belief that you should only breed to improve the breed, but that's easier said than done. You need to find dogs who not only reflect the ideal temperament of the breed, but are also healthy in general. Meanwhile, the lifespan of the average Golden retriever gets shorter and shorter, because in the scramble to produce these well-balanced popular dogs, breeders lose sight of the rest of the family history.

And of course some breeders lose sight of the right objective altogether. I can yammer on about predictability in purebreeds all I like, but it won't always hold true. Just look at my dog. Pedigree Border collie, the smartest breed of dog in the world, and my dog ... shall we say, colours outside the lines. He's not quite the "intense" personality I'd have liked; in fact, he's downright soft - a goofy, good-natured, embarrassingly neurotic Lab in a Border collie body. I'd shudder to think of unleashing his genes on the unsuspecting Border collie community, and yet there are people who would breed him without a second thought, because dog people like and want Border collies. (Plus, whatever else I say about Tip, he's hot stuff.) There will always be breeders who grab the first purebreed to cross their paths and breed it no matter what qualities it has, because some breeds are just too popular for their own good. Then there are the lazy breeders, who simply accept that their dogs will have health problems because that's just the way they are. Breathing problems in pugs is inevitable, cherry eye in Saint Bernards is inevitable, and hip dysplasia builds character. Whatever they tell you, these are just weak excuses. It might be a trial; it might be time consuming and require effort; it might take a long time, but you CAN help make your breed healthier.

Oh, and don't forget the teacup breeders. It's purebreeds they're after, and they won't rest until they can fit a family of Chihuahuas in a thermos and carry them to work.

So the world of purebreeds is not without its share of problems.

What alarms me is that the sale of designer dogs is starting to outstrip purebreeds. It's a band-aid on the real issue. And it's a magnet for bad breeders. Why? Because they are popular, and because the belief that these dogs are healthier exists. Not all the studies are saying hybrid dogs are healthier, you see. You can lead a mutt breeder to literature, but you can't make it think. Trend breeders are dangerous whether they're selling a designer dog or a purebreed: all they want is to cash in on the dog's popularity. But designer dog breeders may be even more dangerous, because while those who breed numerous Labs are aware that their dogs will have problems and don't typically care, the muttpuppy breeder is just plain ignorant. The idea that the best genes will out is wrong, wrong, WRONG. I won't ever tell you that muttpuppies are for a fact UNhealthy, but I haven't seen any evidence to prove either way that they are any more or less healthy than a purebred. And let's not get started on temperament! Even breeders themselves will admit that Maltipoos can be a little neurotic, and puggles a little high-maintenence...

Basically, designer breeding is not the solution to all of dogkind's problems, and it frightens me that some breeders truly think it IS. The Ori-pei is a perfect example. The initial breeder wanted a Shar-pei that didn't have the health problems of a Shar-pei. He bred to a pug, and today we have a hybrid at large with more problems than it should have ever had in the first place. But they still sell, because people believe in hybrid vigour, and that's all a breeder has to say to sell a mutt.

Cross-breeding WILL NOT get rid of problems in a dog. A Peke or pug muzzle can still show up in a hybrid, just like a Dachshund or corgi back can, just like hip dysplasia and cherry eye and skin conditions can. The only way to help get rid of health problems in dogs is to change the breed standard. That's on you, pedigree breeders.

And this is how I do my part: not by ranting about teacup toys and designer dogs and bad breeders (even if I do all those things). What I want to impress here is that the purpose of this blog is to advocate responsible breeding - whatever type of dog we're talking about. It's fine if you want to get a Shih-poo; just take care to find a dedicated hobby breeder who knows that health checks are, in fact, important in designer breeding.

The trouble is that these types of breeders are few and far in between. You'll always find somebody dedicated to the welfare of their own particular breed, perhaps involved with the parent organization, breeding to represent their breed in the best way possible. But that isn't often the objective among hybrid breeders. They see the demand and they supply to it. These are the lazy, who, suddenly, have found a market for dogs they don't need to health screen. In fact, their new customers don't even want a health certificate! All some people need to hear is "family dog" and "hybrid vigour", and they're out the door with their new baby. This unshakeable belief that the best genes always shine through in a hybrid fosters irresponsibility like you wouldn't believe. Can't you imagine?

Breed devotees know what to breed for, but others have nothing to breed for but money, and they're cashing in on the fact that designer dogs have pulled the wool over the world's eyes. Hybrids are not better than purebreds; no worse, either, but until we start concentrating on breeding better purebreeds, we'll surely see the deterioration in both camps. It's already happening.

Raining on the Christmas parade

December is fast approaching (where has that first week of November gone?) and if you're anything like me and love to get into the spirit of the season early, you're already busting out the Christmas CDs (because it just isn't Christmas without Karen Carpenter), laying into the holiday shortbread cookies, and cursing heartily at the radio every time it plays that godawful 'Christmas Shoes' song. You know, the one about the juvenile con artist hitting up innocent stores on Christmas Eve with a list of merch his probably drunk and unemployed mother sent him out with. ("An' after you git mommy's shoes, fetch a little sumthin' fer yourself, too. Tell the toy store ya brother's in the ICU on Christmas.") No offense if you're one of the people who actually cry at this song. We are simply on different wavelengths, you and I.

If you're planning on getting your little one a puppy for Christmas, you're cooler than my parents were and probably love your kids more. Hats off.

But have you done all that THINKING AHEAD?

Many many sources - most notably, pet rescues and shelters and other organizations in that vein - will tell you that Christmas puppies are a bad idea. It sure seems great. You know that classic scene where the kids rush downstairs in the morning and find puppy in a basket with a little red ribbon around his neck. Aww. But in the weeks to follow, reality is one harsh mother.

First off, it shouldn't surprise most of you that the majority of Christmas puppies come from puppy mills. Reputable breeders may have a waitlist, or might not even sell Christmas pups at all. To get the timing just right, people tend to turn to those who market to the masses ... petstores and puppy mills. It helps that those pups often come cheaper, too - but trust me, a couple hundred bucks more now is way better than thousands of dollars in vet bills when your dog's poor health starts showing. There are countless people who will tell you all about their petstore puppy woes, and the month after Christmas is the last time you want to be paying vet bills on top of everything else.

Secondly, this is a big decision! Refer to the post below if you want the whole spiel. A puppy is another family member, not a toy to be played with and then cast aside. And the sad truth is, plenty of Christmas puppies end up in shelters after the holidays. I like this article best because it includes other details, like why the bustling atmosphere of Christmas Day makes it the worst possible time to introduce a puppy to the family. (However, this one has some good advice if you want to ignore the friendly faceless blogger and go ahead with it anyway.)*

Are you sure your child even wants a dog? - or are you getting it because you want the dog, or because you think your kid should have the experience? Or if they do want the dog, do they have realistic expectations when it comes to caring for it? Do you realize that you'll most likely be the one who has to walk the dog every frosty morning and feed it? Are you okay with that? Do you know that winter may not be ideal for adopting a puppy, seeing as some of them may prefer to do their business on a nice warm carpet rather than out in the chilly yard? Oh, the questions you must ask yourself.

Personally, I'd wrap up a few doggy knick-knacks like a leash and and dishes - much easier to return, just in case, than a puppy - and let the kid draw her own conclusions. Then she can pick out her own best friend once the holidays are over and things have gone from 'manic rush' back to relaxed. And it would be great if you can nudge her in the direction of a shelter: there are plenty of kids out there who'd be happy to open their hearts to a homeless dog, if you explain the idea to them. Hey, you might even end up with someone else's discarded puppy, and give the little guy a second chance at finding his forever home.

I'm such a Linus. I gotta stop preaching and come up with some happier posts!

*If I were a sex-ed teacher, I wouldn't be the sort to advocate abstinence only and then pass around the chastity belts. You know some of those kids are gonna be doing it anyway, so you may as well make sure they're armed with condoms and the right kind of knowledge, says I.

Using your head, BEFORE you adopt

Why do silly people never THINK before they get a dog?

(The correct answer is "because they're silly", but let me rave.)

There are so many questions you have to ask yourself before you get a dog.

Who am I?
Am I financially independent and secure?
What's my living situation like?
Where will I be in five years?
Who do I live with?
Do I want a family in the near future?
Is a dog going to have the best possible life with me?

Students are among the silliest out there. I can think of some people who thought it would be a bright idea to finally get that puppy they've always wanted as soon as they moved away from home (thank God most DIDN'T). That's brilliant. You're going off to college, it's exciting and tumultuous, what better than a dog to comfort you in this changing period of your life?

Now good luck finding a place to stay, kiddo. Most college residences have a fish-only policy, and people who rent rooms to students are usually pretty specific about no pets. Some people actually sneak dogs or cats into residence anyway. Awesome. Keep that dog locked up in a crate while you're at class all day and partying all night. And if it barks? What are you going to do with it short notice? I believe you get one warning and then the boot. Oh boy.

Say you do find a place with your dog; do you know how many hours you're gonna be putting into school? And then into your career? Are you gonna have a job all lined up as soon as you leave school? Suddenly you've got to find a dog-friendly apartment, and be able to provide for yourself and your furry friend, while trying to find a job - and a dog isn't a hamster. Your 20s are a turbulent time, and some people cope better having man's best friend at their side, but others have to give their dogs up when a significant other hits the scene, or a baby, or life doesn't go the way they planned...

Think hard, students.

Then there are the folks who are recently married, always wanted a puppy, start off their family with a furry little bundle of joy; maybe as "practise" for the real deal. Which is cool - but do you know how puppy is going to react if and when the infantile interloper invades his territory? Why didn't you think of that in the first place?

Always always think AHEAD when you decide to get a dog. This could be a fifteen-year commitment, if the worst shouldn't happen. There will always be change in your life over this period. Oftentimes, you KNOW what that change is gonna be - or have a rough idea. Plan for it so that your dog can adapt with you. Want to start a family? Socialize, socialize, socialize! It's so crucial to a little dog. When puppies are small and rather harmless, they can be taught to get along with all kinds of other critters and people. Introduce your dog to some small kids when he's little. Let them run around and play. Teach the kids that when puppy bites, they need to say "OW!" and stop playing - even at light nips. Trust me, your puppy can understand when he's gone a little too far in his play: his brothers and sisters probably yelped and quit the game when he bit too hard, too. Make him think, "Geez, these little humans are so sensitive!" and get gentler if he wants to keep playing with them. Now you're better prepared if you acquire toddlers of your own. (Even if you don't, I believe puppies should meet small children while they're still puppies and learn their manners - just in case.)

And most important of all, mind YOUR attitude around the little ones, especially if they're your own and you've got a dog. It doesn't take the smarter ones long to pick up on the idea that the kids are yours and therefore need guarding, like all your other possessions. Ideas of household hierarchy will come later. Puppies are taught to respect what's yours and not to chew on what's yours, like your shoes, or your kids, and if you've got to give up a dog because he's chewing on your four-year-old, that's YOUR fault.

Do I have dog experience?
Is this breed right for my lifestyle?
Does this breed make for a good first-time owner's dog?
Do I know what I'm getting into in picking this breed?

If you're dog-savvy enough, and you love and care for your pet enough, you can adapt a dog to almost any situation life throws at you. My dad's Border collie was a year old when I showed up, and we grew up alongside each other no problem. (Well - he was a grumpy old bastard, and we weren't exactly BFF, but we didn't have any of the problems that get some Borders dumped.)

If you've never owned a dog before, on the other hand, and have your heart set on a Siberian husky... Think again! Know your dog's characteristics and how you're going to deal with him before you get him. Of course it's not that simple, but getting a purebreed and researching can give you a rough approximation.

Sometimes an older dog lands in your lap unexpectedly. Those can make for the best relationships. Just take the time and care to help your dog adapt to new things.

I'm all ranted out for now. Just remember, whatever comes your way in life, your dog can help you through it only so long as you help him. So think ahead.

An afterthought...

Two things I forgot to mention in the post below:

EXERCISE! This is another thing Cesar advocates, and he's very right. Take the time to burn off your pet's excess energy and you'll both be happier. A bored and restless dog will be a constant frustration to you. Take little Sparky for walks and you'll find it easier to train and handle him in general.

And secondly, you can practise being the "pack leader" without rolling your dog over. Just try telling him to sit before you give him food, or put on his leash - if he's getting too wound up when playing, tell him to lie down. You get the idea. These small things can affirm that you're the one calling the shots. Not Sparky!

Positive reinforcement vs. positive punishment

EDIT: I posted this, then ended up taking it down and going over it again because something didn't sit right with me. It's back up now, and I want to reiterate that these are just my opinions. Some people really can train dogs using their voice alone, and that's great! Feel free to share some tips. I just wanted to offer my thoughts - that's all.

So I've been looking into Cesar Millan (famed Dog Whisperer)'s methods lately, and I wanted to share some more thoughts on dog training. Positive reinforcement, like clicker training, is the method I favour, which I covered in my earlier dog training post. Positive punishment is what Cesar Millan uses: responding to undesirable behaviour with something aversive, like a "nip" on the neck.

(Yep, punishment can be positive. I know it can get confusing! When you're talking about operant conditioning, instead of the normal connotations of 'good' and 'bad', positive means causing something to happen (after the behaviour), whereas negative is causing something to stop happening. It's like in math, where positive adds something and negative takes away. In dog training, an example of positive reinforcement would be clicker training - rewarding the dog immediately after desirable behaviour with a click and, summarily, a treat. Positive punishment would be a Cesar-type response or a shock collar, causing a mild electrical shock following barking or leaving the property.
Negative reinforcement, taking away a stimulus after the desired behaviour is performed, would be like shaking a can of pennies until your dog stops barking. Negative punishment would be like taking away your dog's toy as soon as he gets overexcited and bites you, and walking away from him. I'm looking at the "positives", so if you get confused, look at it this way: are you going to wait for your dog to do something good (and reward him), or wait for him to do something bad (and punish)? Much more simple!)

Now, to start off I have to say: I might be very pro-clicker training/positive reinforcement, but I think BOTH methods of training very much have their place in the dog world. Often times they'll coincide. With reinforcement you want your dog to keep doing whatever it is he's doing; with punishment you want him to stop. If your dog is an excessive barker, you can either teach him that not barking is a good thing and deserves rewards, or that barking is a bad thing to be punished. He can learn either. If your dog strains at the leash, you can teach her that walking beside you is preferred, or that pulling is undesirable. Before you decide to take either route of training, try and see how many of your objectives could be achieved either way like this. YOU know your dog's temperament, and you should know which method of training will work better for them.

With a puppy, you want to start with reinforcement right away. Your new baby doesn't know what you want at all, and you want to teach him in a way that won't foster uncertainty. He can't be punished for not sitting when he doesn't know what 'sit' means! And like I said in my other post, remember not to punish just because your dog does it the 'wrong' way - like taking too long to come when called. Keep on rewarding, and he'll keep on trying to please you. He'll get better as he learns, and puppies need patient teachers, especially if they're sensitive (researching your dog's breed will nearly always tell you whether that breed tends to respond poorly to harsh methods).

Other puppies need a firmer hand, and it's okay if you need to correct. If baby is showing undesirable actions, you want him to stop NOW, before he grows up and what was cute (like jumping up on people) becomes annoying or even frightening for some people. Worse, maybe he's biting or out of control. In these cases, pay attention to what Cesar teaches: Tone of voice and attitude, even your stance can tell the dog a lot. Plenty of dogs learn fast what "NO" means, because of the way you say it. If puppy bites you, even lightly, yelp or say "OW!" or something, and stop playing. Puppy wants to play with you, and she'll learn that she has to bite much more gently, and eventually not at all, if she wants to keep her playmate.

I won't tell you never to lay a hand on your dog. Why? Because I've raised a Border collie puppy ... I've been there! Even if he is a lovable teddy bear now, Tip was exactly the same as any other Border collie pup in the beginning - that is, he acted like he was perpetually riddled with cocain and running on a six-pack of Red Bulls, and that everyone he met was a "sheep" (not that he tried to herd me, but he played the dominant role). Convincing a Border collie that you're not a sheep is a lot of hard work, and these dogs stay puppies for a long time!

I KNOW we're not all saints, and I KNOW learning all the "be the pack leader" stuff just doesn't come naturally to some people, and that not everyone has time to learn the most positive training methods possible. I will NEVER, EVER tell you to hurt your dog: you're not just the "pack leader" to him, you're his best friend in the whole world. Keep it that way. But, in my opinion, getting "hands-on" can be okay if you do it carefully, and not in anger. Try to look at it like this: you're not aiming to hurt him physically (or emotionally; Tip's probably not the only crybaby out there), but just to get his attention or convey that you're unhappy. A light smack on the rump with an open palm was as far as I ever went personally; some trainers will tell you it's okay to grab your dog by the scruff and give it a shake, but that doesn't sit right with me. It's a matter of personal preference. Either way, I'm sure you realize that dogs get hands-on with each other! It's not the end of the world if you want to use physical contact to redirect your dog. Still; this should be a last resort. You should have already tried using tone of voice, or walking away, or whatever was needed, before touching your dog. And your puppy is probably a little saner than a Border collie - I hope you don't need to touch him. :) (I once dog-sat my neighbours' cockapoo puppy - they went to Florida for two weeks just after acquiring him; yeah, real bright idea - and didn't need to lay a hand on him. Just so you don't think I'm some kind of dog-molesting psycho with the uncontrollable urges to stomp on puppies and live in trailer parks and wear wife-beaters.)

Note: I never felt the need to use physical contact with Tip after he'd grown up a bit. I find the older a dog gets, the more receptive he is to you and the less I would recommend touching him. Tip was hell in puppy form, but now all it takes is a stern word or glare for him to look abashed.

But now your dog is grown up, and still showing some problems. You decide which method will work on him - he's your dog, you know him best, and you know how he should respond. Some dogs don't really need a "pack leader", I feel. When Tip pulls at the leash, it's because he's just excited to be outside and wants to sniff that tree, not because he thinks he's the top dog. Somebody recently told me I should give him a light KICK when he does that - we made a bet that I could stop him from pulling in two weeks using the clicker. Three days in and Tip now simply glances at those trees as if they're hardly there! Clickers can solve a lot of your doggy problems, and I'd recommend using one for just about any issue.

But personally, I think Cesar Millan knows what he's doing. Before you judge his methods, you should try getting into it with an aggressive pittie, and see how far tone of voice gets you! I love that he trains the owners simultaneously, because attitude, and the energy you put out, have a lot to do with how your dog's behaving. And no matter how aggressive the dog, he never harms them: "punishment" can indeed be as simple as a "tsst" (or a more calming "shhh"), or touching the neck.

What I don't like is that people think these are sound methods for training any dog. I can almost guarantee that your Lab doesn't need a "tsst"! Cesar works specifically with aggressive dogs and I think a lot of people lose sight of that. (The person who told me to kick my dog - my dog who is just like that kid you knew in kindergarten that ate paste and crayons, God bless - had just seen one episode of the Dog Whisperer.)

Try positive reinforcement first. If that really doesn't work, well, time to pull your head out of your ass and take some tips from Cesar: be calm, be assertive, lay the foundation using positive punishment until reinforcement can take its place. (But if the dog is super-aggressive, leave it to the professionals.)

(Another note I almost forgot to cover: Positive punishment will work for dominance aggression, but not so much for fear aggression. This I learned from C, my dog guru. I also got this handy chart from her. Fear aggression is something quite different from dominance and possibly one of the most difficult behaviours to break a dog of. I won't go into it now because I have no personal experience; but if you think your dog is fear-aggressive, forget using corrections. Be quiet and unthreatening, don't validify his fearful behaviour by coddling him, and give him treats and love when he is not acting fearful. Obedience training will be your best ally, as it will help strengthen the bond between you and your dog.)

I lost my train of thought two or six times writing this, so I'll sum up my thoughts real quick:

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT
- For teaching your dog new things
- ...OR to train him out of certain behaviours
- Makes training fun for uncertain or sensitive dogs
- Is the clearest way to convey to your dog what you want him to do
- Tends to have good results!

POSITIVE PUNISHMENT
- For correcting bad behaviour ASAP (like biting)
- ...Or laying the foundation to a more mentally sound dog, in order to move on to positive reinforcement
- Best used sparingly and as a last resort
- Will not make you a monster if you do it right, and safely. :)

Lastly, remember that a good trainer keeps an open mind. (Me, I'd never use a can of coins - it hurts my ears, for one thing! But I wouldn't condemn the people that do, either.) Every dog is different and some need different training strategies than others. Breed can be a good indication of how your dog should be trained, so be careful with your muttpuppies. And keep in mind that this is all just my opinion, and you have no particular reason to listen to me. ;) Feel free to disagree. Happy training!

Finding the right apartment dog

I was asked to write a post about how the size of a dog isn't relative to the size of its living space. I decided to write all about apartment dogs. My opinion? There's nothing wrong with keeping a dog in an apartment - so long as (like with any living situation) you do your homework!

First off, I'm sure you know to check with your landlord and all that. You might want to run the breed you'd like past him/her, too. While you may not agree with them if they're uncomfortable with "bully" breeds, your landlord can still give you boot or make you give up your dog, and nobody wants that to happen. Respect his/her feedback. Secondly, figure out an action plan. Do you have a nearby park or place to exercise your dog every day? Do you know how he's going to relieve himself? Are you ready for the possibility of your dog making noise or picking up other habits that might annoy the neighbours?

But most importantly of all, have a breed in mind, and research research research!

Going to a shelter could also be a good idea. The people who work there have a good idea of what their dogs behave like, and might be able to pair you up with a suitable pooch. That way, you'll get an already polite and housebroken companion with a new lease on life. Win-win! If you do want a puppy to raise, though, think HARD on breed selection. I looked up some outside sources for help, and ... nearly every article was actually way off the mark when it came to some things. This one recommends Weimaraners, that one recommends Malamutes, here's one that recommends BEAGLES, as in named-for-baying BEAGLES - it's just a big headache. Let's start with the dogs we should AVOID.

The possibilities seem infinite. Gundogs and hounds are a noisy bunch, so you'll want to stay away from them. Even the barkless Basenji will yodel. Oh, and I think spitzes may own the title for Most Strident Voice in the dog world. Working/herding dogs have busy paws and busier minds, and they will wreak havoc on a small space if bored. Terriers might seem good for apartment living, but remember that these dogs were largely bred to a) investigate nooks and crannies, and b) run and find out. If something's happening on the other side of the wall, the curiosity may drive your terrier crazy. Sporting dogs are bouncy, exciteable and active. Faced with all these dead ends, I thought of Golden retrievers, the canine all-rounder, but then remembered that they can suffer from separation anxiety which can lead to destructive or noisy habits, oh my God, WHERE ARE ALL THE APARTMENT DOGS AT?

This site was my favourite of all the ones I looked at, because it's good for basically ball-parking things for you. It's a list of 50 most popular apartment dogs, but that doesn't mean that they all make GOOD apartment dogs, which the writer points out. It makes for a good estimation: if you check all your facts, one of these breeds could work well for you.

In picking your dog, generally check for three things: noise level, exercise requirement, and aggression factor. Remember that you and your dog will be sharing living space with other people. You're not the only one who has to get along with your dog.

Now here's a handful of breeds I can think to recommend.

THE GIANTS: You might be surprised to hear that the giants actually do quite well in apartments! Which brings us back to the original topic: big dogs do not necessarily need big plots of land to be happy. In fact, big dogs are some of the biggest couch potatoes in the dog world. I've mentioned Great Danes before now - those guys are quite happy to contort themselves into a happy pretzel and doze on the couch. And Newfoundlands, the sweet-tempered lovechild of a grizzly and a gorilla, used to spend most of their time hanging out on boats, and will do fine in an apartment provided they get their daily walk.

Things to consider: Naysayers will give you grief about cooping up such a big dog, and that may get wearying. Some people find it difficult to swallow that the dog doesn't require a huge house and yard. In actuality, your dog would probably just laze around some other six cubic foot space if you moved. The giant breeds are not the ones who will run laps around your home like they're chasing hubcaps at the Indiana 500: no, those are the small dogs!

Also, giants may not typically be big barkers, but when they do bark, they can bring the ceiling down. And you'll have to be quick to the draw on training your dog out of spurts of hyperactivity while it's small, especially when people come to the apartment, because if your giant starts a happy dance it might cave the floor in. (This is always something to consider with a giant, though. My cousin and her husband have a massive, soft-hearted Great Dane who greets people not by dancing but by putting his face in theirs to examine them from an inch away. His tail is going a mile a minute, but it can still be alarming. And they think this is okay, because he's not jumping!)

My real warning is that large dogs are prone to arthritis and displasia, so be mindful of the type of building you live in. Are you on one of the lower levels? Do you have to climb flights of stairs up to your apartment, or take an elevator? It may not seem important while your dog is young, but it could cause them grief later on in life.

Oh, yeah - and don't forget about the walking disaster that is a Dane's wagging tail!

THE TOYS: The ankle-biter brigade isn't for everyone, but trust me, if they were good enough for royalty, they're good enough for you. :) Just check if your breed of choice was originally bred to be a pet (like the Pekingese), or an active working dog (like the Yorkie), because this may make a difference.

Personally I'd recommend dogs from the Bichon family, because .... I like small white fluffy dogs. I feel ashamed every time I say it. But look into Malteses, Havaneses sound especially delightful, and Bichon frisés and the adorable Bologneses are promoted as low-shedding. And I won't lie: I like Chihuahuas, too. Honest! But if you get a Chihuahua, make sure you know exactly what you're getting into. I don't know what most owners expect, but Chihuahuas CAN be high-strung and they are by and large one-person dogs, and I think it's the owners who aren't prepared for that and don't socialize their dogs right that give Chis a bad rap! Papillons are another small breed I'm fond of, and they make very pleasant companions; just know that they are quite physically active. And the King Charles Spaniel makes for a very sweet-tempered lap dog.

Lastly, for those who prefer not to sit on either extreme end of the scale, some medium-sized dogs suited to apartment life:

ENGLISH BULLDOG: Friendly, squishy, stubby-limbed, bricked-in-the-face face, what's not to love! These guys are sweethearts AND they're easily trained.

SHAR PEI: Cutest puppies ever, plus these dogs are affectionate and, a bonus, very quiet.

CHOW CHOW: For those who know their way around a dog. Mostly bred as companions these days, they can be a bit willful, but they love their people.

GREYHOUND: You might be surprised, but it's true! In fact, one of the best apartment roomies you'll find is a retired greyhound. Most dogs retire at 3-4, but some will be 2 or younger. They get along with everyone, kids, grandparents and other pets included, and they are little couch potatoes. They're laidback, clean, relaxed, and low-maintenance. You can't ask for a better apartment dog.

STANDARD SCHNAUZER: Recommended by An American in Copenhagen - these guys are also for the dog-savvy, but they're very healthy, trainable, shed very little, don't bark much, and make great family dogs. They're also highly adaptable - and they're calm enough that some are used as therapy dogs. If you've got the time to exercise this robust little dog, he'll make another perfect roomie.

And, before I stop, yes, designer dogs can fare well in apartments too, I'm sure. As long as you're looking for a responsible breeder, I won't tell you not to buy one! Just REMEMBER that you don't always know what you're getting with a muttpuppy. Remember the puggle: Pugs aren't big barkers, but beagles ARE, so it's a bit of a risk to take one home (though training in puppyhood will help). With a designer dog, you've always got to do double the research!

I guess that's all for today. If you've got a breed to add, or if you think my information is wrong, please tell me! I'd like to have a relatively reliable list here. Thanks!

A rhapsody on dog training

This is my dog Tip.
Tip is hilarious. Note the gleeful expression on his face as his busy little brain works out that, maybe, if he brings me his tennis ball AND a stick, I'll throw BOTH for him. There is a dog who knows what he wants out of life.

Tip's a purebred Border collie. He's got "classic" markings and conformation to die for. ..Actually I'm no dog show connoisseur, but still. If I were a judge, I would give him Best in Show. You say no to that face. He should be a dog biscuits model or something. (Can you tell I'm gonna be one of those moms who shows everyone the pictures of her kids in her wallet?)

But I won't lie. Tip is a good example of a purebreed you DON'T want to breed. I love him to bits, he's kooky and adorable, but he's dumb as a plank. He's a sweetheart, but he's not a good representation of his breed. I don't know if he's just got a dumbass gene in his lines or if this was the result of what I refer to as "the incident" - sometime during puppyhood, Tip was dicking around and caused a hay bale to fall on him. Chicken or the egg? Well, not worth the risk. And after he was caught several times making sweet love to his pillow, it wasn't hard to say goodbye to his balls.

Anyway, Tip's big problem is that he's neurotic as hell. Everything overwhelms him. I lied - he's not THAT dumb (he walks into so many walls he'd fool you, though) - but training him was a major trial because he'd get all nervous and wiggly and start the pee dance. I'm not a dog psychologist and I don't know how to make him stop being so afraid of being judged or screwing up or whatever it is that scares him. Actually, I have exactly the same problem myself (without wetting my pants, though. Most days). So I let it slide.

I digress.

Do you remember our friends at Dakota Winds, with the freaky mini Saint Bernards? I finally checked out their son's website because I was intrigued by the mention of a training program, and to see if maybe he learnt from his parents' mistakes. Well, he didn't. (Who's surprised?) In fact, he and his girlfriend-type are breeding MORE freaky little mixes, like ... um ... "Cuddles". (Show of hands, who would tell people that's what their dog was? If I had one and somebody asked me what was on the end of my leash, I'd say, "Oh, him? He's a Butch McHarley. Mix between a Rottweiler and a lumberjack." But I know I wouldn't fool anybody.)

Anyway, their training program. You leave your dog with them. You pay them $600, and they in turn teach your puppy how to pee outside and sit. For the reasonable sum (reasonable like a water balloon to the face) of $1800, they teach him how to pee, sit, lie down and heel. For an added $150, they teach him how to ring a bell when he wants to go outside!

I don't care how dumb your dog is, he can convey to you that he needs to pee. Even my dog who rides the short bus knows how to do this. He barks at the door. Or he comes into whatever room I'm in and gives me the Patent Border Collie Staredown. You don't have to be a sheep to get freaked out by The Stare, take my word. Sometimes I don't even know what he wants, I just get moving. It's kind of embarrassing to realize you're being herded as you part from your desk and hustle downstairs with your dog's gimlet eyes burning holes into your back. Maybe bell-ringing has its uses for some people, but I think in Tip's case he would ring them once and then take cover under the coffee table. The most expensive piece of crap my dumb dog ever scared himself with.

I wouldn't trust my dog to these people. Let's face it, for $1950 I would expect him to come home and start reciting Henry IV, both parts. For what you get, that is not worth it. And I know I'm not the only one with a) not enough money and/or b) a semi-retarded dog for whom normal training methods don't work. I don't care if you don't think you have a lot of time to spend teaching your dog how to sit pretty. YOU can train your dog yourself, and you don't have to be a dog whisperer to do it. Listen up, because I'm about to save you about $1948 with these two words:

Clicker training.

NOTE at this point that, on top of not being a dog show connoisseur (unless watching on ESPN counts) or a dog psychologist, I am also not a professional dog trainer myself. Nearly everything I learned about dog training, I learned from my friend who DOES train dogs for a living. Better yet, she trains service dogs. She gets to cruise around in wheelchairs and take puppies into malls, and THEY GIVE HER MONEY FOR THIS. I am so jealous. She's also a vet tech and I don't think there's ANYTHING she doesn't know about animals. She's the one I go wailing to when my beloved guinea pig scratches her ear an unusual amount of times, is she dying?? (Nope, C tells me kindly, just has a bit of an allergy to her bedding.) C is a dog whisperer and a goddess.

C uses a clicker to train her dogs, and had lots of tips (no pun intended) when I decided to give it a go with Tip because I was at least mostly sure it couldn't make him any more defective upstairs. Within three sessions, my dog who should wear a helmet everywhere he goes had all but mastered the "downstay". I'm pretty convinced now that clicker training is the solution to all of life's problems. Recently acquired a puppy? Clicker training! Dog pulls at the leash? Clicker training! Excessive barker? Clicker training! Cheating husband? Clicker training! Global economic recession? Buy a clicker!

Forget everything you've heard right now about tone of voice and showing who's boss and even forget everything you learned in psych 101 about operant conditioning, because what it comes down to is this: Your dog thinks you're a dumbass - after all, you're the one who expects him to drop everything and come indoors right away when he's busy having the time of his life haring around the yard chasing that squirrel who keeps screaming racial slurs and making gang signs at him from the fence. So? make him think that the objective is FUN, too.
Step One: Desired behaviour.
Step Two: Click.
Step Three: Reward.

Ta-da. Suddenly you're not such a dumbass. You've got tasty treats, and your puppy wants them.

You could probably learn more from other sources, like C, who should write a book so I can pimp it all over the place, because I'm just an awed believer who's seen the light. Hallelujah, I will stray no more! But I've got some handy tips for you anyway. These methods may or may not work for you. But they worked for my dog who is special-ed and captivated by the sound of his own farts, so I have a lot of faith.

1. Don't tell me your dog is too old to learn. I've probably pulled that line too, but it's not true. Old dogs can learn new tricks. Get a clicker and let your dog wow you. Tip was five (still is) when we started clicker training; well into maturity, even for a dog his breed. I was anxious because the school next to our favourite park was having a lot of construction done this summer before the school year began, and with all those big machines rolling around begging to be herded, and him not such a star at down or recall... Well, training felt important. (Imagine how proud I was when he dropped flat at my command as a truck came rolling out of the woods in front of him, and stayed there. Forget pride - imagine my RELIEF!)

2. Use hand signals. C taught me this one. Human speech can sometimes be difficult for dogs, especially if you're not the only one in the house who's going to be giving the commands. The same word won't always sound the same to them. I imagine this is more important with service dogs - or bilingual dogs - but I attached a signal to the "downstay" command anyway (hand raised, palm facing the dog, in a kind of "STOP in the name of lo-ove!" pose. It's very overt and the most attention-grabbing signal I could think of, as this is the most important command to me), so when Tip is half a football field away and I yell "down", even if he doesn't hear the precise command, he sees the hand and drops.

3. "Downstay" is IMPORTANT if, like me, you let your dog run around off-leash. Sometimes recall isn't the best option, like, heaven forbid, if your dog is running at you from the other side of a road. When you say "down" (or lie down, or whatever command you choose), your dog should know that this means HIT THE DECK and don't move until Mom or Dad says so.

4. Know your enemy. Are you teaching a breed that learns best by repetition, or one (like herders) that gets bored fast and needs variation? The clicker's great for both. Making it gradually more difficult to earn a click, or only giving a click when the dog does the desired behaviour perfectly, can motivate him. With Tip, I first praised the simple action of lying down, then increased the distance between us when I gave the command, then only praised his lying down and staying put until I gave the release. Some sites will tell you to start with the action and THEN add the verbal command, but Tip already knew what "lie down" meant, so I all I had to do was make the gradual switch between "lie down" (which I use in the home to mean stop licking my socks and bugger off under the coffee table please) and "down" (HIT THE DECK!). I don't see the point of adding a verbal command later, anyway.

5. ALWAYS follow up a click with a treat! Some people might say click and then heap the praise on, but let's face it - your dog would rather work for food. I sure would work for Butterfingers.

6. Be consistent. I learned this from C, too. If your dog is mowing down that crazy racist squirrel, and you yell for five minutes for your dog to COME HERE SIR, and finally your dog does, happy and satisfied, don't take the wind out of his sails by bitching at him for taking so long. He came, didn't he? Tell him what a good widdle muffin he is, yes he is! Click and give him a treat while you're at it. Now he knows that, hey, coming inside when he's called can be rewarding, too. Funny how this never occurs to us. C is pretty convinced dog owners are morons. I think in most cases she is spot on.

Clicker training is dog training made easy. Before you give up on your puppy and send him to somebody else for a crazy fee, just buy a clicker and some Scooby Snacks or whatever your dog likes, and give it a whirl.

If C gives her permission, and if my readers aren't too offended by excessive profanity, I might just link to the guide she's working on right now, "Clicker Training Motherf***ers", because it's more informative than I am. In the meantime, though, here is a link which seems pretty good (PDF alert). And by the way, clicker training can be used on all kinds of animals - cat, horses (and even fish, C claims) included. Teach your pets wacky stuff, why not!

And TESTIFY!