Now it all makes sense

This Saturday I'm at my mother's house for an ol'-fashioned family Thanksgiving dinner, since my sister is visiting from NYC, and I think if I hear one more tune from Kenny & Dolly's "Once Upon a Christmas" I may start throwing the stuffing.

So it's just a quick entry today, but it sure made me smile:

Cheers, thus-sung!

Poodle genes: NOT magical

I try to write this blog with an open mind; honest I do. I know mix-breeding isn't the problem, the people doing the breeding are. I know there are muttpuppies out there whom I'd be sad to see go if they were suddenly wiped off the earth a la the dinosaurs*, like Goldendoodles and Labradoodles and cockapoos. I don't blame you if you want a schnoodle; I think they're cute, too. (But then, I'm a weirdo who loves a dog in a beard.) What I CANNOT figure out, though, is why some people breed poodles to certain other breeds of dog. Is it because people want the other breed of dog, but are allergic? Is it because they can't handle Breed B's temperament and would prefer a watered-down version?

The Weimardoodle, for example. You heard me. The Weimardoodle. People are breeding Weimaraners to poodles. For real. Why??

Some mixes stump me because they seem so utterly superfluous, like Maltipoos (small, "hypoallergenic" lap dogs) or Newfie/Labs (they both like water and kids and are big enough to wrestle with, which is important if you're a little kid - or maybe a big dog - at heart, like me). On the other end of the scale are these mixes so unnaturally suited it fairly boggles the mind. I just can't put an independent, aloof, territorial "dog-savvy owner only" dog together with a poodle, in my head. It doesn't make sense to me. Even when I think, okay, maybe a watered-down version of a Weim wouldn't be so bad, why can I still picture half these dogs ending up in shelters?

Like most of the working breeds that wouldn't automatically make you think "family dog", Weimaraners have their devotees and fanbase, and that's where the majority of them go. The devotees and fanbase know how to handle a Weimaraner. Unfortunately, most would have no interest in a Weimardoodle. And Weimaraner genes can make for a difficult dog, trust me. Looking on Petfinder in my province, there are an awful lot of Weims out there, the majority of them young, and I can see eight on the first page alone are mixes. (Mostly Weim/Labs, to be fair.) So I'm a little baffled.

Then there's Shepapoodles; German shepherd/poodles. When we know (don't stone me for this) in the wrong hands German shepherds can develop an aggressive streak. And BOTH breeds are among the world's top three most intelligent dogs (both second to my dog who walks into doors. Go team!). Remember my rule of thumb: The smarter a dog is, the more of a moron it thinks you are. "Smart" does not always mean "trainable". I sense the Shepapoodle would sit firmly in the "smart" camp, and not come out right away if you called it.

Same thing with the Min Pin/poodle mix - and the Pekingese mix we looked at last week. God, I hope none of these mixes ever take off. Let's face it, dogs should only ever be crossed for two reasons:
1) To have a function (go low-shedding service dogs!)
2) To be, as Linny said, happy, healthy family pets.

The Weimardoodle is not the average dog, and the odds are good that it won't make such a happy family pet. The Shepapoodle, "Pinschoodle" and Pekeapoo are looking pretty iffy too. If you want an independent-minded dog and can handle one, you're looking at a GSD or Weimaraner. If you want a family pet who will romp with the kids, you're looking for something tried and true (and predictable).

Decidedly NOT a GSD or Weimaraner (or poodle mix thereof).

Poodle genes are not a magic cure for a strong temperament, people. WHEN WILL THESE BREEDERS LEARN? (Worse still: what will they think of next??)


*I'm willing to bet the dinosaurs' problem was that they decided to form nation-states and establish boundaries and trade their natural resources, and considering dogs' thought processes mostly revolve around how to steal that tempting little snack off the kitchen table**, these muttpuppies are reasonably safe for now.

**If you're an aging (but sprightly, when it suits you), crafty beagle who's getting tired of raiding the garbage, you've figured out how to leap onto a pushed-out chair and then onto the table in order to snarf an entire loaf of bread which was going to be lunch the next day, and it wasn't even your owner's bread because she's on vacation; no, it was your dogsitter's, and now you're lying in the corner groaning because you have a bellyache and may require a visit to the vet, I hate you, Duchess.

The Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

So yesterday the Angry Pig was sick.

Just wheezing a little when she breathed, I'd noticed it the day before. But in my mind, a single sneeze from her perfect pink nose means oh my God she has a horrible infection and needs IMMEDIATE CARE. Last night I cuddled her desperately while she snoozed nonchalantly in a comma on my stomach, totally oblivious to (or more likely uncaring of) my angst. All these horrible thoughts flooded my head like congestion, respiratory infection, pneumonia, bordatella, oh-God-it's-way-too-cold-to-take-her-to-a-vet, my-baby-is-going-to-die. Please don't die, AP. I went to bed at midnight, so wrapped up in worry that I was deaf to the sound of her wolfing down her veggies with gusto.

Of course today she is just fine. She's being her usual punk self; scraping her teeth in my ear, "accidentally" chomping on my hand when she turns to get an itch on her back, crapping in my bed, shredding the sleeve of my sweater to get my attention, blowing all our rent money on booze (and, don't tell her I told you so, purring when I cuddle her under my chin). No wheeze. No runny nose or eyes. I never need a reason to feel grateful that this little psycho is in my life, but I guess it just hit home again today.

I'm in Canada, where it is not Thanksgiving, but today I'm feeling especially thankful for my pets. AP, my cranky guinea pig who is my baby, and Tip my dog who licks walls. The Senile Gerbil, who only wakes up to yell at me to get off his lawn. And, though he isn't mine, Colby the Percheron/Arab I ride every week, who throws all my theories about hybrids in my face by being the most amazing and beautiful horse I've ever known. Okay, that was my kinda sappy moment. Forgive me; I had an emotional night. (You won't catch me shed a tear watching Eight Below, but a snuffly guinea pig has me quivering like a teacup Chihuahua. Go figure.)

Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the long weekend (ya jerks), if you're in America. If not, well, smell the roses anyway and take a moment to be grateful. :) And I'm grateful for YOU, my readers. Muah. So have a Thanksgiving pic I dug up.

(A cat? Who let that freak in?? Aw, I kid - I love you, too, you sociopathic furballs.)

Sappy moment over! Time to pull my mean face back on and dig up the dirt on some muttpuppies. ;)

A break in the monotony...

I couldn't not share this: Announcing the Miracle of Birth Videotape! Be warned if you're of a sensitive nature - don't worry, it's not an actual tape; just a good breeder with a less-than-sunshiney (but hilarious) sense of humour. :) I recommend you print it out and staple-gun it to your idiot neighbourhood wannabreeder's front door. I know we've all got one.

The importance of responsible breeding

I hope all your weekends were great. My pets left mine on an ambivalent note. On the one hand, I've started training my dog up a bit more, and he goes into transports of joy whenever he sees the clicker because it means treats! for doing! practically nothing! On the other hand, my Angry Pig was treated to a bath, and her utter outrage was made worse by the fact that I turned her into a piggy burrito with an old handtowel afterward. Partly for my own protection. So my dog is pretty sure that I'm the coolest person in the world, but my guinea pig keeps leaving threatening letters in my pillowcase.

(Senile Gerbil snoozed through the weekend, waking now and then only to mutter cantankerously about young people and their crazy hairdos these days. Old people are adorable. Even when they're not actually people.)

I got a comment on this post and planned on replying before realizing it had spawned an entire entry's worth of thoughts. So here it is (and I'm not trying to single you out, Linny! Sorry!).

Linny said...
""Designer dog" sales are now outstripping those of purebreds. I think this is largely because all the scientific research show mutts live longer and healthier lives than purebreds.

Most people just want a happy, healthy family pet. Say "Boxer" a vet thinks heart disease; say "Golden Retriever" and they think hip dysplasia. The incidence and severity of inherited diseases increases every year, and yet breeders continue as they've always done, with outdated practices that continuously limit genetic diversity, using breed standards that often encourage disability and deformity.

If there's anybody out there that still really believes all is well in the purebred world, they should watch the BBC documentary "Pedigree Dogs Exposed" at http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=44215931"

Too right, Linny! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying purebred dogs are perfect. Far from it! So I hope nobody here gets that impression. How often do we see cases like the Pekingese, the pug, the Dachshund, the Shar-Pei, where breeders continue to breed in myriads of health problems for the sake of decades-old breed standards? You will hear time and time again that pugs snore, but nobody stands up to actively eradicate the inferred problems, because of course, a pug that doesn't snore evidently just isn't a pug. Nobody wants to give those flat faces more definition, because a pug with a longer muzzle won't be winning Best in Show.

Breeding pedrigree dogs just ain't as easy as it looks. I'm one of those people who stands by the belief that you should only breed to improve the breed, but that's easier said than done. You need to find dogs who not only reflect the ideal temperament of the breed, but are also healthy in general. Meanwhile, the lifespan of the average Golden retriever gets shorter and shorter, because in the scramble to produce these well-balanced popular dogs, breeders lose sight of the rest of the family history.

And of course some breeders lose sight of the right objective altogether. I can yammer on about predictability in purebreeds all I like, but it won't always hold true. Just look at my dog. Pedigree Border collie, the smartest breed of dog in the world, and my dog ... shall we say, colours outside the lines. He's not quite the "intense" personality I'd have liked; in fact, he's downright soft - a goofy, good-natured, embarrassingly neurotic Lab in a Border collie body. I'd shudder to think of unleashing his genes on the unsuspecting Border collie community, and yet there are people who would breed him without a second thought, because dog people like and want Border collies. (Plus, whatever else I say about Tip, he's hot stuff.) There will always be breeders who grab the first purebreed to cross their paths and breed it no matter what qualities it has, because some breeds are just too popular for their own good. Then there are the lazy breeders, who simply accept that their dogs will have health problems because that's just the way they are. Breathing problems in pugs is inevitable, cherry eye in Saint Bernards is inevitable, and hip dysplasia builds character. Whatever they tell you, these are just weak excuses. It might be a trial; it might be time consuming and require effort; it might take a long time, but you CAN help make your breed healthier.

Oh, and don't forget the teacup breeders. It's purebreeds they're after, and they won't rest until they can fit a family of Chihuahuas in a thermos and carry them to work.

So the world of purebreeds is not without its share of problems.

What alarms me is that the sale of designer dogs is starting to outstrip purebreeds. It's a band-aid on the real issue. And it's a magnet for bad breeders. Why? Because they are popular, and because the belief that these dogs are healthier exists. Not all the studies are saying hybrid dogs are healthier, you see. You can lead a mutt breeder to literature, but you can't make it think. Trend breeders are dangerous whether they're selling a designer dog or a purebreed: all they want is to cash in on the dog's popularity. But designer dog breeders may be even more dangerous, because while those who breed numerous Labs are aware that their dogs will have problems and don't typically care, the muttpuppy breeder is just plain ignorant. The idea that the best genes will out is wrong, wrong, WRONG. I won't ever tell you that muttpuppies are for a fact UNhealthy, but I haven't seen any evidence to prove either way that they are any more or less healthy than a purebred. And let's not get started on temperament! Even breeders themselves will admit that Maltipoos can be a little neurotic, and puggles a little high-maintenence...

Basically, designer breeding is not the solution to all of dogkind's problems, and it frightens me that some breeders truly think it IS. The Ori-pei is a perfect example. The initial breeder wanted a Shar-pei that didn't have the health problems of a Shar-pei. He bred to a pug, and today we have a hybrid at large with more problems than it should have ever had in the first place. But they still sell, because people believe in hybrid vigour, and that's all a breeder has to say to sell a mutt.

Cross-breeding WILL NOT get rid of problems in a dog. A Peke or pug muzzle can still show up in a hybrid, just like a Dachshund or corgi back can, just like hip dysplasia and cherry eye and skin conditions can. The only way to help get rid of health problems in dogs is to change the breed standard. That's on you, pedigree breeders.

And this is how I do my part: not by ranting about teacup toys and designer dogs and bad breeders (even if I do all those things). What I want to impress here is that the purpose of this blog is to advocate responsible breeding - whatever type of dog we're talking about. It's fine if you want to get a Shih-poo; just take care to find a dedicated hobby breeder who knows that health checks are, in fact, important in designer breeding.

The trouble is that these types of breeders are few and far in between. You'll always find somebody dedicated to the welfare of their own particular breed, perhaps involved with the parent organization, breeding to represent their breed in the best way possible. But that isn't often the objective among hybrid breeders. They see the demand and they supply to it. These are the lazy, who, suddenly, have found a market for dogs they don't need to health screen. In fact, their new customers don't even want a health certificate! All some people need to hear is "family dog" and "hybrid vigour", and they're out the door with their new baby. This unshakeable belief that the best genes always shine through in a hybrid fosters irresponsibility like you wouldn't believe. Can't you imagine?

Breed devotees know what to breed for, but others have nothing to breed for but money, and they're cashing in on the fact that designer dogs have pulled the wool over the world's eyes. Hybrids are not better than purebreds; no worse, either, but until we start concentrating on breeding better purebreeds, we'll surely see the deterioration in both camps. It's already happening.

Extra, extra!

HSUS points the finger! After an eight-month investigation, the Humane Society brands Petland the nation's leading retail supporter of puppy mills. Nobody is especially surprised. Home reporter MoT urges readers to boycott Petland, or at the very least, don't buy their puppies no matter how cute they are. The puppies, not the Petlands. Petland retaliates with "We do not support substandard breeding facilities and we provide each Petland store with 'Humane Care Guidelines,' that were developed in conjunction with the U.S.D.A. to assist with breeder facility inspections as it pertains to pet selection" to general public, then says "I know you are, but what am I!" to the HSUS, and refuses to invite them to its birthday party. It makes no promise to stop selling puppies or at least spay every dog before it leaves their possession, so MoT is not all that impressed.

Ohio reporter slanders "teacup" breeders. MoT expresses desire to buy him a drink.

Florida finally steps up after suspicious buyer does not receive a health certificate with puppy! MoT gives a cheer! Also finds on breeder's website a) spelling/grammar errors ("love of my life has went to Rainbow Ridge"), b) Christian references, and c) term "fur babies" running rampant, but is not surprised. MoT also expresses hope that they "throw the book at 'er".

Australian man attempts to pay bill with drawing of a spider. MoT laughs and laughs.

Happy Sunday, all.

Drawing the line

Puppy mills are usually characterized by their cramped quarters and squallid conditions. Typically dogs are mated every time their heat cycle rolls around, and their existence revolves solely around churning out puppies. They're mistreated and unhealthy.

That's what comes to mind when I hear "puppy mill" - how about you?

If you could write the definition of puppy mill, what would it be?

By calling a place a puppy mill, you're saying it should be shut down, that the laws apply to that place: so consider that when you answer. Also consider the state the dogs must be in for a commercial kennel to qualify.

Is a puppy mill a large facility where the dogs are locked in their cages all day long, fed little, and experience little human contact?
Is it a place where any number of dogs, even a few, are bred indiscriminately for profit alone?
Does it cover a backyard breeder who cares for her dogs and socializes them, but always has a litter available?

This is something I've been thinking about lately, so I'd like to hear your thoughts. :)